How to Quit Yelling at Your Kids

Without losing your mind or feeling guilty.

Disclaimer: I am not a family therapist or expert. The tips on quitting yelling that I am sharing below are simply the things that I applied to my parenting skills toolbox. I will include resources for family therapy at the end of this article. Thank you for supporting my work.

I recently published an article about how science says that yelling is the same as hitting. That piece exploded, and I received more than one hundred messages from parents wanting to know what I did to quit yelling. At first, I was hesitant to share my struggles with yelling because, as any parent who yells can tell you, there is a certain amount of shame that comes with it. But after reading a couple of stories from mothers who told me they feel at their emotional wit’s end, I figured the worst that can happen is that no one will read this. But the best thing that could happen is that someone out there reads this and feels understood and empowered to try and quit yelling.

Assess what kind of yelling we’re talking about here.

It is so critical to note that not all yelling is damaging. If you find that you are yelling at your kids simply to be heard over the din of chaos, then you could easily make functional changes to the general volume of your house.

Suppose you find yourself yelling to startle your child out of doing something dangerous, such as walking into traffic…