I’m a Reformed Yeller. Here’s How I Get My Kids To Listen Without Losing My Sh*t.

A few months ago, I wrote this piece on what science says about parents who yell. It was directly inspired by my utter frustration with my children because no matter what I tried to do to get them to listen to me, our communication would inevitably devolve into a yelling match over screentime or chores.

Yelling at my kids doesn’t feel good, and it has never solved any problems, so why was that my default method of parenting? And if science was telling me that yelling is considered as harmful as hitting, how much damage was I causing my family? The guilt that was intimately bound in those questions was difficult to face, mainly because I love my kids and want them to grow up to be kind, self-assured, and empathetic people, which couldn’t happen if my kids were getting yelled at all the time.

So, I decided to change my ways for good.

After that article was published, my inbox has seen a steady stream of emails from readers wanting to know what happened next. Did I quit yelling? How to quit yelling? If I quit yelling, can I undo all the damage from yelling to begin with? What do I do when I want to yell? The questions haven’t stopped. Now that some time has passed and I have looked into evolving my parenting strategies from Frazzled Bat Shit Crazy Mom to Calm and Rational Person Whose Children Listen (Mostly), and I have some tips that I think might help.

Leave.