What Science Says About Parents Who Yell

Is yelling really as harmful as hitting?

My house is very loud. As a parent of three kids, the volume in my home can crescendo up and down at a dizzying speed because my kids love to argue with each other. All of this amplified bickering inevitably leads to me losing my cool and yelling above the racket. I also yell because I get sick and tired of repeating the same directions half a dozen times to my kids, who flat out refuse to follow them. Mostly, I want them to hear me over their shouting matches so that I’m not repeating myself ad nauseam. But also? If I’m honest, I yell because I get frustrated and angry. But a recent study suggests that when I yell at my kids, I may as well be hitting them.

I have some questions about this.

What parent doesn’t yell?

I have a hard time believing parents who preach about how great they are at never raising their voices. I am sure they exist, but I am equally sure that they had gone to therapy or read a pile of parenting books to calm their frustrations and find specific tools to help them navigate the aggravations that are a part of raising kids. Any parent who tells me they just don’t ever get worked up is lying, I’m convinced.

Nevertheless, I am hell-bent on trying to find a path toward being that mythical unicorn mom who doesn’t ever yell. I don’t particularly appreciate how I feel when I scream across the house for everyone to sit down and be quiet. I…